Reverse Polarity: When Pain is Pleasure and Pleasure is Pain

In college, I was on the pre-law track where you could major in anything. The goal was to have a good GPA and score well on the LSAT. Economics was the only class I got a C in. So what do I do? I majored in Economics. Psychology, which is what I should have majored in, was the class I got not only straight A’s in, but straight 100’s.

This is a great example of living life in reverse polarity.

Reverse Polarity is the concept where you’ve been programmed to believe yes means no and no means yes, or in other words, pain is pleasure and pleasure is pain. The moment you realize you’ve been living your life in reverse polarity is when you begin to question everything.

How can this be? And does this apply to you?

It’s common in our society to get recognized for martyrism. Suffering is admirable. Working hard is rewarded. No pain, no gain. In some households, like mine growing up, having fun was seen as lazy. The moment you sat down to watch your favorite show, you got handed a basket of laundry to fold. Another common scenario is getting in trouble because you came home late while having fun with friends. Suddenly, pleasure became painful. Like a dog on a shock collar, you learned that enjoyment led to punishment.

Meanwhile, staying up all night to squeeze out a B in a course you don’t even care about is applauded. Pain becomes pleasurable because it was rewarded with approval.

If this was your programming, then you’ve most likely carried this encoding throughout your life. And, if that’s the case, then you’ve been going through life with a lot more pain than is necessary.

If you’ve lived most of your life in reverse polarity, then you will find it difficult to trust yourself in what you really want. Our feelings our are best guidance system as to what our preferences are and what will bring us the most fulfillment and happiness in life.

When we can’t trust our feelings, or worse yet, when they mean the opposite of what we think they mean, then we end up at the whim of others, either out of approval or complacency.

This eventually leads to living an inauthentic life – going to a job you don’t like or being in a relationship that doesn’t fit you. You’re doing what seems like the right thing, but you’re not happy. Not even the pain brings you pleasure anymore. The pain is just plain painful.

If this sounds familiar, the good news is that your polarities are no longer reversed. Pain is painful and pleasure is pleasurable. Now you can use the contrast of what you don’t want to gain clarity on what you do want. Instead of wallowing in the pain, albeit familiar, use it as a springboard to manifest what you do want.

You can start to trust your feelings and start to manifest a life that really does feel good. Your North will truly point North and your South will obviously point South. You can trust that it’s safe to seek pleasure in lieu of pain and that this is the way it was always supposed to be.